Friday, April 1, 2011

4/1/11—Clinging Too Tightly

Today's Draw: Four of Pentacles from Infinite Visions. What are clinging too tightly to? What are you reluctant to share? And what might this be blocking you from gaining?
The Four of Pentacles generally speaks of holding on too tightly to your money or material things. But it can be interpreted to signify holding on too tightly to anything—being possessive of a lover, meting out your warmth and affection spa...rsely, trying to control a situation you want to unfold in your favor.

When we hold back anything of ourselves, we block the flow of energy. This can have adverse effects on everything from our social situation to our mental and physical health. So look around you and see where you might be holding back some part of yourself or clinging too tightly to something.

I know I frequently hold on too tightly to certain ideas about who I am. For example, yesterday my power went out so I had to go to the library for the power and wifi to meet a deadline. I had a festering pimple next to my mouth. A scabby scratch on my chin. And my hair was skankilicious. I wasn't wearing makeup or anything and, because I'm overweight, I always feel like I have to look "just so" in order to be even close to attractive. And I certainly didn't look "just so". But a handsome man caught my eye and took the opportunity to flirt with me, gross as I was.

Anyway, it occurred to me that I hold on too tightly to my own warped self image, built upon decades of feeling not attractive enough, that I don't open myself to the possibility that different people find different things attractive. And while I'm focusing on that pimple, maybe he was focusing on my eyes (which I admit, are terrific...haha). And by holding on so tightly to that image, I block myself from any other possibility...and from the opportunity of flirting back, because I'm feeling so insecure. The reason this even occurred to me is because I have someone in my life right now that is helping me see myself through kinder eyes, so that block is loosening enough for me to even see how tightly I've held on to this notion. Otherwise I might still be unconscious to it.

I bring up this example, because it's one of the more subtle ways we might hold on too tightly to things. And also because we're often unconscious to places where we're creating blocks. It's about being open minded and open hearted, yes. But it's not always in the most obvious of ways. So this might be a thought to take into your weekend. What subtle and obvious ways are you blocking yourself from greater abundance because you hold on too tightly to the abundance and notions you already have?

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