Tuesday, September 6, 2011

9/7/11—Controlling Outside Forces

Today's Draw: The Six of Stakes from the Kalevala Tarot. Do you seek to control the outside forces in your life? Do you know someone who tries so hard to make things "perfect" that they push others away? How do you deal with situations outside of your control?

We got the Six of Stakes or Wands just last Friday. It is usually a card of attainment or achievement. The man in the card has clearly worked up some blood in his quest and stands firm in victory. He's captured any weapons that have been cast at him. And he has even tamed the horse and the moose at his sides. Clearly, he has single-handedly dominated in whatever conflict has arisen.

So this card is all about gaining control over the enemy. Hooray! But I can only talk about the victorious aspects of the Six of Wands so many times....haha. So instead, today, I'll talk about those who try to control everything in their sphere. 

I'm a member of a group that gets together now and again. The emails go out that we're meeting and we need to RSVP. Then there's emails reminding you to RSVP. Then there's the email saying they're no longer accepting RSVPs. Then there are emails telling you that the deadline to change your RSVP is on the horizon. Then once that deadline hits, there's a reminder that you're no longer allowed to change your RSVP. Then there's an appeal to please not change your RSVP because the deadline has passed. Then we finally get to meet. 

There's an artificial "need" with this group to hit a certain number of attendees each month, so you might be able to justify the manic concern about RSVPs. But the number of attendees just has to be an even number. And since there are always a couple of attendees willing to take turns sitting out, there really is nowhere near the pressure that is put on getting a specific number of attendees. If the number is odd, people will take turns sitting out. If the number is even, we're golden. No sweat.

Meanwhile, though, while all these emails are going out, a few things happen. All the drama around the pre-meeting pressure puts off a manic and annoying energy in the inbox (though it offers much fodder for those of us who love to mock.) While the leader is great in most other aspects of the meeting, this pre-meeting panic and a few controlling bits during the meeting take attention away from the things that they actually do quite well. And, while I have no idea of what this person goes through on the inside in the weeks leading up to the meeting, it would appear that they work themselves into a froth every time...over nothing! It lends a bitter fore-taste to what is otherwise a sweet experience. 

I've planned a number of things, some dependent on having a certain number of attendees, so I know how it goes. Rather than drive myself and my guests crazy, though, I just have a contingency plan in place, such as, if an odd number of people show up, then I just lead and not participate. If an even number show up, then I have fun with everyone else. That easily, I solve all the issues that may arise if someone doesn't show. It's a real weight off the shoulders. I never have to think of it again. And I don't have to put undue pressure on the guests. Of course, I learned this through experience and from doing some wrong things in the past, but when I recognize that something is eating at me I tend to try to think of other solutions. And I'm not sure this person recognizes how much this RSVP thing is eating at them, to tell the truth.

Anyway, the guy in this card is in total control over his outer environment. For the time being. And that's a great feeling when it happens. No reason not to welcome that in your life. But as is more often is the case, our "control" over outside forces is really just a fleeting illusion. In our attempt to control outside forces, the outside forces usually end up controlling us, as is the case with the meeting leader. And instead of demonstrating our power, we end up losing it. Whatever is eating at us...whatever pet peeve we have...becomes self-inflicted salt in the wound that we blame on others when we try to solve an issue by exerting more control over it. In the end, what will be will be. And there's nothing we can do about it, but waste our energy trying. 

So consider this today and see how you might be trying to control a situation in your life or trying to solve an issue by exerting more control over it. See if you can come up with a contingency plan to ease your mind. And then just let go and let whatever will be, be.

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