2/16/12—Channeling Your Inner Doofus

NOTE: I have changed words and images in this entry from the original posting because it was getting countless hits a day from people looking for a certain cartoon character that was mentioned here. It occurred to me that many may be children and, since many serious religious and spiritual topics are discussed here, I thought it best if I removed all mentions of the cartoon character.

Today's Draw: The Nine of Wands from the Simply Deep Tarot. What's the last really stupid or clumsy thing you've done? When did it happen? And did you see it coming and did it anyway?

For some reason, this image amused me. It reminds me of those "d'oh" moments where you do something really stupid—something you should know better than to do—but you don't realize how stupid it was until the consequences come. Maybe this guy happened upon this fire innocently, but today it's looking to me like he thought it was a good idea to light the big log on fire and, once the blaze got really going, realized it would also consume the two bendy straw logs and probably all the others in its wake.

It's possible I may do something like that at least once every day...haha. Today I had my dogs on their leashes when I remembered to get my phone out of the charger. So my living room is kind of narrow and I have a long coffee table and the phone is at the far end of the coffee table and there's a vase of flowers at the near end. So there I am with the dogs on their leashes and they go down one side of the coffee table and I go down the other and, of course, the flowers get toppled and water goes everywhere. I saw it coming and did it anyway.

I had another incident on the way home from our trip to the park where I almost hit another car that either came out of nowhere or I didn't see it because I had a rear view mirror full of dogs. When I finally saw the car, the lady inside was making kissy faces at my dogs and waving at them, oblivious to the fact that I almost plowed right into her without seeing her. Or maybe she was waving at me to stop and had her lips pursed in fear. Either way, she almost died waving.

Which gets me wondering...how many stupid things do I do in a day that I don't even register? I mean, stuff like this is forgotten as quickly as it happens. How many doofus moments do we have in a day anyway? In my insular little freelance world I'm not even exposed to general society on a regular basis. And I had two incidents I can remember today. When you think about it, it's a wonder life is as safe as it is with as many "near misses" as we have in a day.

So just for fun, make yourself conscious of this and see what happens. See how many times you do something clumsy, narrowly escape serious injury or otherwise create an unintentional nuisance. And for bonus fun, come back here and share your stories with the rest of us. :)

2/15/12—Setting Your Own Personal Default

Today's Draw: Seeker of Fire (Page of Swords) from the Shapeshifter Tarot by Lisa Hunt. Would you generally call yourself a diplomatic person? Do you tend to be diplomatic in your actions and words, but not in your thoughts? If diplomacy and discretion are society's defaults, what are your personal defaults?

The book for this deck speaks of messages and diplomacy when you get the Seeker of Fire. 

Recently I've been thinking a lot about things like diplomacy and discretion. I think if you look around your life, you might not realize all the times in a day or week you are limited in what you can say or do for the sake of diplomacy or discretion. 

In writing this blog, I frequently subject myself to that. Certainly I don't want to use peoples' names in a public place without their permission. Then there are situations where I'll talk about something, but hold back a lot of details so the situation or person can't be easily identified. Then there are the times you just can't discuss an issue at all, whether it's because you know someone involved will read it or because it's just too hot button to be diplomatic about.

Then there's work. How many times a day do you keep yourself from saying or doing something too personal or too crass at work....or from telling someone off? You stop in the store on the way home and run into a neighbor and the niceties come out, even though their dog is always peeing on your grass. You go home and keep from saying something because your partner has had a hard day.

Then there are those situations where you find yourself between friends, both sides wanting you to take up their cause. One side thinks the diplomatic thing for you to do would be to choose their side. Because they're in the right. The other side thinks the same. So you can't win. And if you choose both sides...or if you choose Switzerland...you're really screwed. So you choose whatever you feel is right, because you can't win for losing. 

After a while with all this jockeying around to be diplomatic and whatnot, we lose touch with what's genuine to us, though. We become socially trained automatons. Even outspoken people with no filter will find themselves saying or doing the socially acceptable thing from time to time. And there's good reason for a lot of it. It's how we get by in a civil society. 

I think it's worth considering what's really beneath your choices, though. Because when we're in those situations where diplomacy isn't going to do us any favors, we should be able to know what's really driving our decisions—a socially trained desire to not create waves or something that is truly genuine to ourselves. It sounds very simple. but if you really explore, you may find that it's really hard to separate the programmed part of you from the "you" part of you. One way to tell the difference is, do your thoughts mirror your words and actions? If not, it may not be genuine to you.

But what about those situations that weren't in the guidebook? Or the ones we're not prepared to encounter? Like the time I was briefly stuck in an elevator with a dude with Tourettes who was trying to chat me up about the "n-word people" he worked with. Or when the neighborhood meth addicts stopped by to borrow my phone and ask if they could siphon a gallon of gas from my car. That's when having a personal default comes in handy.

In the past year or so, I've been using a personal default of kindness, drama avoidance and quietly walking away from situations that don't serve me. I find this covers most situations and it's not always the diplomatic or popular thing to do. Especially in the midst of a drama, because it doesn't preclude saying no and detaching from the situation. It's not always easy to follow, and my thoughts are still catching up to my words and actions. I'm still limiting what I might say or do, but I'm doing it for my own personal growth and aligning with the spiritual path I'm on, not because of any societal agenda. I'm not 100%, but I'm doing pretty well, considering my old personal default was loudly telling people off and using the "f" word a lot. That covered most situations, too. :D

So what's your default? You could consider it a personal code or philosophy of dealing with others. Have you ever considered this before? And if you have, how consistent are you with it? Is is something you just say or use when it's convenient? Or is something you stick to, even if it pisses other people off?

2/14/12—Leaving Beauty in Your Wake

Today's Draw: The Three of Wands from the Victorian Romantic. What are your gifts? How do you use those gifts to bring beauty into your everyday life? And if you don't see your daily obligations as a opportunity to bring beauty to the world, wouldn't today be a good day to start?

I always get a good feeling from this particular card. I get a sense of daydreaming, confidence and planning for a new journey. And I like the added touch of the lyre in his hand, because he's creative, visionary and out of the box. Plus, he's got a really nice arse. 

I also never miss sight of the swans gliding along the glassy river, their images reflecting back at them. Our loosely robed musician can't see them yet. But they're about to come into his view and perhaps even color the plans he's creating in his head. What will they spark in him? To move forward with grace? To bring along a partner? To proceed slowly and surely and enjoy the scenery?

Today they're saying to me to move forward with that which reflects beauty to you. For this guy, it's music. For you it may be something different. There are people out there who say they're not creative. But they are. "Creative" just means that you're capable of making something. It doesn't have to "art". But it's actually art within the context of your gifts. It's the beauty you're able to make in this world.

So the question is, what beauty do you make? The beauty a personal assistant may make might be to make life easy for their boss so they can glide effortlessly through their day. A lawyer may make beauty in the way they architect their case. And now and then, I'll turn a phrase in a way that makes a client squeal with delight.

Chances are, no matter what you do, you're pretty good at it. And that, in and of itself, is a beautiful thing. You may not see it that way, but today could be the day to start seeing the beauty you reflect in this world.

2/13/12—Putting a Barrier Between Ourselves and Happiness

Today's Draw: Eight of Wands from the Steampunk Tarot. Can you see the potential for happiness present in your life right now? Do you ever think you might hold happiness at arm's length? Is it possible you're doing it right now and just don't know it?

The Eight of Wands is a high octane card with the fuel to propel you toward a goal. Often it holds a message of "move quickly" or "strike while the iron is hot". 

A lot of times there's not even a human in this card, but in the Steampunk Tarot there is. The sun is in her eyes and you see just enough of her face to know she's very happy. She has a variety of wands to choose from—umbrellas, a walking stick and a riding crop—but she chooses the parasols, seemingly to shield her from the sun. 

The sun is illuminating and life giving and, in the tarot, can symbolize happiness. But there's a dark side to everything, even the sun. Too much sun can blind us. It can burn us. It can illuminate more than we're ready for.

So why do you suppose this happy woman placing a barrier between herself and this source of happiness? Is she laying low, protecting herself from being seen by the killjoys in her life? Is she afraid of having too much happiness, possibly leading to incurable heartbreak? Downplaying her happiness so as not to make the sad sacks around her sadder? Is there maybe some seedy underbelly to her that she doesn't want illuminated...something that would brand her undeserving of her happiness? Or is she holding happiness at bay, trying to regulate its flow, for some reason?

I'm pretty sure at one point or another I've been guilty of each of those things. And you know what I got out of it? Less happiness. In fact, when you examine all my unhappy times and my "just average" times, most of what was keeping me from being sunnier is myself. I tend to burden my head with thoughts and, when the sun starts trying to peek in the cracks, I hold it back "until I've completed my thought." It's like I want to experience my happiness under ideal conditions. And by the time I arrange those conditions, it's too late!

Sounds crazy, right? But I bet we've all cheated ourselves out of the full spectrum of joy for one reason or another....made it contingent on some person or set of circumstances out of our control.

Happiness, like every emotion, is a temporary state. It comes and goes. So, like the traditional meaning for this card, we've got to strike while the iron is hot. 

If you really think about it, you'll probably see that the potential for happiness is there a good deal of the time. And if we don't fully develop and relish it when we can, then think of the big puddle of this amazing nectar we've cast aside! I mean, if we're going to accept all the blahs and ehs of life, we may as well take all the heehees, too. So if you're feeling kind of eh right now...like you could go either way...what might you be putting between you and the sun?

The Week of 2/12/12—Contemplating Extinction

Looks like someone needs a new fishin' spot.

I used to worry about saving the planet from pollution and other toxins. But that doesn't concern me anymore. Turns out there's something much bigger to worry about....

There's a special place along the river where I like to sit and just be. Years back I had a habit of going to this particular spot a couple of times a week. It's within a heavily wooded shoreline and the trees on either side of the sittin' spot frame the river and view perfectly. It was cool to see the seasons change from that same vantage point. Spring to summer. Summer to fall. Fall to winter.

I must have started there in spring, because I enjoyed quite some time there before the littering started. Then every time I would go to this spot back in the woods, there would be soda bottles and bait cups and all manner of chip bags strewn about. The fishermen didn't even try to bag their trash. They just left it—and the bags it came in—where they used it.

So each time I visited, I brought a bag. And I picked their trash up. And I deposited it in the trashcans back in the parking lot. The same trashcans they passed every time they came there to fish. And after a while I started thinking, "they probably think a fairy comes by and cleans up after them. So I'm really just enabling their behavior."

Gaia killed the dinosaurs for less.

I thought of making a sign and posting it on one of the trees. I visited less often. And after a while, I grew so weary and disheartened that I just abandoned the spot altogether and found another.

After a month or two, it was spring again and I missed my spot. So I thought I'd give it a try. I loaded up with bags and hiked back into the woods to my special place, braced for all the trash I would find there. But there was none! Nothing!

I plunked down in my spot and took in everything. The sun sparkling on the river. The beauty of the opposite shoreline. The ducks and ducklings paddling by. And I looked up to see the fresh green leaves on the trees overhead and....there were at least three fishing lines and hooks caught up in the branches. It seems that, when the leaves started to come, the canopy prevented the fishermen from casting their lines!

At first I chuckled at Mother Nature's brilliance. Then it hit me. There I was worrying about saving the planet when we should all be worried about saving ourselves! Mother Nature was here billions of years before us. She survived methane air, the dinosaurs, geomagnetic reversal and all sorts of scary crap. And she came out of it looking pretty darned awesome and bountiful.

It's time to start calling a spade a spade. The earth isn't in any danger. We are. Instead of talking about climate change, we should be talking about species change. Because soon it will behoove her to choke us out, rather than suffer the case of the sniffles we're inflicting on her with our holes in the ozone and non-biodegradable toxin-infused trash. In 100 years, she'll have covered all evidence of us being here. And in 10,000 years, they'll have to use sonar and soil samples and carefully calibrated instruments to even know we ever existed. And Mother Nature? She'll have aged the equivalent of maybe two human weeks. 

This is an unfortunate reality of most urban shorelines.

Of course, we don't choose to see it this way, but what's going on here is a war. It's humans vs. Gaia. And we somehow have the arrogance to think we could possibly win when 99.9% of everything that's ever lived on this planet has lost. Who's the only one that's won? The gentle, unassuming ferns, that's who! To the earth, we're just another self-important species going extinct. Like the Cave Lion, T Rex and Quagga. What's a Quagga? Critters will be asking the same thing about humans a couple hundred years from now.

So this week, consider what's really at stake with the choices you make each day—and beyond your relationship to the earth. Consider other things you may have a skewed perspective on. A pet owner may think nothing of letting their dog run off leash—until it gets hit by a car. A person may think nothing of smoking cigarettes—until they get lung cancer. A husband may think nothing of having a passing affair—until he loses his wife and children.

There is something ingrained in the human psyche that a) makes us think we're the most important and powerful thing on earth b) makes us seem beyond extinction as a species and c) allows us to justify and/or blind ourselves to things we KNOW are wrong or against our best interests.

As far as the things we justify are concerned, we know what those things are because they're the things we don't openly discuss with others. So start there. What wouldn't you tell your cubicle mate about your life? And how can you turn your thoughts around on that so that you clearly see what's at stake?

There are spiritual folk who believe earth is just one of many places a soul goes to learn lessons. And they say earth is the most beautiful and difficult of all those places. It would suck to cut your time short here only to end up in some brown, chalky, dimly lit desert in the next lifetime. We could all do well by sparing a moment to take inventory of what it means to be worthy of this place, this body, this opportunity and this gift we call life.

2/10/12-2/12/12—Getting Your Motor Running

Weekend Reading: Knight of Pentacles from the Darkana Tarot. The deck's creator, Daniel Donche, calls him stubborn and obsessive, but to me this Knight of Pentacles is a rebel—the kind that turns every man-lover's head...at least the ones who want their hearts broken. And what that spells for our weekend is a little wildness, a little release from our normal repressive selves. I would never recommend anything unsafe or (significantly) illegal, but that still leaves a lot of room for spinning around recklessly, running around with your clothes off and sticking it to the man. If you've got a motorcycle, use it. If you don't, turn up your car's heat and ride around with the windows open. Yeah, you heard me, waste some gasoline. And laugh maniacally while you do it. This is the weekend to nurture your inner rebel. 

Love the grungy feel to this deck.

Coinkadinkally, today's card is part of a rebel trend. Instead of seeking a traditional publisher, tarot artists raise money to produce their own decks. It's kind of like a pre-order. But if they don't get the funding, you get your money back. The Darkana Tarot is by Dan Donche, aka Inappropriate Tarot Readings. And you can fund the deck (pre-order it) at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/109454417/darkana-tarot-deck

Uh oh.

2/9/12—Being Golden With the Golden Rule

Today's Draw: The Eight of Coins from the Maroon Tarot. Have you ever been the object of some sort of prejudice? Do you ever wish someone understood that part of you? And while you're hoping for that kind of consideration, do you truly follow the Golden Rule?

The Eight of Coins is a card that usually depicts a person hard at work on their craft. It's the card of the second-time apprentice and suggests starting something new. The Eight of Cups from the Maroon Tarot is different from any I've ever seen, because it shows someone in a pointy "witches" hat, setting off on a journey (or arriving somewhere new), a little bent over and in thought. 

Tarot is all about what you seen in the cards in the moment. In this card, I see a witch who has a hard day and yet is still moving forward with her good works. This makes me think of the prejudice and assumptions people make based on the fact that someone reads tarot:

1. They think you're a witch or practice Wicca
2. They think you're going to tell them they're going to die
3. They're afraid you'll put a spell on them
4. They think you're in cahoots with the dark side
5. They think your readings are BS...a sham

Needless to say I'm none of those things. For anyone curious, I have no religious affiliation, but am very definitely metaphysical, which means I think there's a physical and/or scientific explanation for why things happen in the universe. I believe everything is energy interacting with energy and that there is way more going on out there than we currently know about. So, to review, I don't sacrifice babies (or any other living thing...God and nature are one to me), I don't confer with any false or devious Gods in order to do a reading, and I absolutely do NOT cast spells on people or even wish others bad, primarily because I think it comes right back at you.

Anyway, maybe a month or more ago, something really interesting happened on Facebook. A person who doesn't know me made a crappy little remark to me about me and my cards. They suggested that, because I read tarot cards, I have dark intentions. I mean, anyone who's even read just ONE of my blogs knows that my message is all about moving closer to our higher selves and the light. So I replied back, not in a snippy way or anything, that he might consider he's judging something he knows nothing about, because if he understood what the cards are about, he may not have such a harsh opinion about them. The person was kind enough to apologize for being snippy (probably because he thought I might cast a spell on him...haha) and things ended nicely. 

But that's not what is interesting. The interesting thing is that the very next day, someone came to my Facebook wall in a friendly and curious manner and asked me a series of questions about tarot. They said they felt comfortable approaching me about it, which was a VERY nice thing to say. And we had a thorough discussion on the topic, whereby she asked all the right questions and I gave the answers as I know them. She asked how it works and where the messages come from. What the role of a tarot reader is. Everything! It was the conversation you dream of having with someone who doesn't know. 

Essentially, my answers were that I believe everything is energy interacting with energy. And I don't need the cards to interact with her energy and give her a reading, but they're a useful tool because they spark certain thoughts in me. Just like this card today was about being a second-time apprentice and I'm talking about prejudice and assumptions instead, it's all about what you see in the moment you're reading it. And a reader trusts that she's focusing on a certain element of a card for a reason.

I told her that different tarot readers have different religious beliefs. So some might think the messages are coming from God or Jesus (yes, there are MANY Christian tarot readers and most of the ones I know call themselves Christian) and others might feel they're reading the energy of the person or situation. It's different for different people. And, regardless of their beliefs on that, it works.

And I also told her that, to me, tarot is not about foretelling the future (though it can do that). It's about helping people understand "why" in a way that no other means can. It helps you see a person and/or situation through a lens you can't view it through on your own. It's a more astute adviser than a friend (who probably knows you too well to be objective) and it's the perfect adviser for those day-to-day issues that aren't worth going into therapy for. I want to be careful comparing it to a therapist, though, because tarot readers aren't qualified to guide you through your traumas and inner child issues. This is for people who are relatively emotionally healthy and stable who just have a question about why something is happening in their life.

So one day someone criticizes me because they don't understand. And the next day someone comes seeking understanding. It was full circle moment. And I bring it up because there have been a couple of times lately that I've wondered if the reason someone has responded so negatively toward me is because of the tarot thing. Sometimes we know why people act out toward us...there's a trigger. But other times it just happens for no apparent reason and you wonder (though I could always ask the tarot and never think to do so for myself...haha). This isn't a part of me I hide. And I accept responsibility for that. But I've wondered recently in regard to a couple of incidents where people did know this about me. There are a lot of different views in the world, right or wrong. And it's often hard for use to look past the one thing to see the other million things that exist in a person or the intentions beneath their actions.

As I saw the woman on this card in her witch's hat bent over, yet continuing on, I have to say I feel that way sometimes. Especially lately. Especially after the story I told yesterday. I think it may be connected. Bottom line is that, when I choose to read a person, I do it for good, healing reasons. And I write this blog for good, healing reasons. And there will always be people who will look at it and see darkness, no matter what you do. But you press on.

And on a final note, I apologize to all the Jehovah's Witnesses I've been rude to in the past. I'm not being cheeky. I still don't want you to come to my home for a chat, but I do apologize. Because I can't ask others to see me from the standpoint of my intentions if I can't view them through the standpoint of theirs. All they want to do is serve their beliefs and they're good people inside. It doesn't matter if they can't see past the tarot with me. What matters is that *I* become a good enough person to see past *their* pamphlets. So that's something worthwhile for all of us to consider. It's a nuance of the Golden Rule we often overlook, but it's essential for all of us who seek to walk in the light.