5/21/13—Accepting the Way Things Are

Today's Draw Classic*: The Five of Swords from the Mythic Tarot. Is there something going on in your life that's really got your goat? Is something coming to an end before you're ready...or not coming to an end fast enough? Are you tired of trying to make something change that just doesn't seem to want to change?

Nothing blocks life's zing like refusing to accept "what is". And that's what this card has come to tell us about today...acceptance. It doesn't matter if something's unfair or if wasn't supposed to be this way. It's tough beans if you don't like it or if others get to do it and you can't. None of that matters.

It is what it is.

And you can accept it and find a way to work with it. Or you can fight against it and just create more pain for yourself. I'm not talking about things you can change, here. This isn't a social commentary about becoming a sheep and letting the tide take you. This is about things you can't change. Being fired from a job. The end of a relationship. Getting sick. Having physical, mental or emotional limitations. Pushing up against another person's will. The situation may be end up being different in the future, but right now it is what it is and no amount of begging, fighting, manipulation, displaced anger or vengeance is going change it.

It is what it is.

Sure, you can do all that stuff. But ultimately you're hurting yourself. And keeping zing at arm's length. And wallowing in bad energy. And creating bad karma for yourself. And changing nothing. Of course there's going to be pain and mourning on the road to acceptance, but holding on to anger/revenge/a grudge is, as they say, like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

I have a theory that most pain is caused by pushing up against what is. I find myself doing it from time to time. I know my particular situation *can* change. I'm just limited in how much it can change right now. And in the meantime, I'm not doing myself any good or getting any closer to change by not accepting where I am and what conditions are. And, for my situation, trying to change it while I'm limited in my ability to change is just defeating me. But I'm proud to say I have learned to bypass most non-acceptance. And to stop all the histrionics and arm flailing and drama that go along with it. And, for that, I'm grateful.

These things—like drama and non-acceptance—are things that put distance between us and our happiness. We involve ourselves in things that don't serve. And sure, it's not conscious. We don't WANT to be miserable. But sooner or later we need to question what purpose it serves.

Usually it this behavior keeps us involved in the stories we tell ourselves—"I never get what I want." "Everyone's always screwing me." "There's so much drama in my life." "I'm not lovable." "Everyone around me is an idiot." "There are no good men out there." "I should be able to do this." "Life isn't fair." etc. and so on. And as long as we're caught up these stories, all the power is outside of ourselves and, powerless, we conveniently never have to do anything to change our lives. The problem is, change and forward movement are what keeps our lives fresh and exciting and full of zing.

Orestes, the guy on the ground in today's card, is being told by Apollo that he has to avenge his father's death. He doesn't want to do this, but Apollo is a god and this is how things are. Not doing it is just going to make his life worse. And fighting up against "what is" isn't going to change anything. He's still going to have avenge the death. 

Is there something familiar in that situation in your life? Something where you're just prolonging your pain? Look at all the stuff that you want to change in your life and see which things may just need to be accepted for the time being. If you took away that frustration and replaced it with acceptance, you may not only open yourself up for more joy in your life, but you may just stumble upon a new solution for your problem. 

*From 8/2/12

5/19/13—Looking Within

Today's Draw: The Hermit from Beth Seilonen's Owls Arcana in the Goal position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. How do you avoid being alone with yourself? What are you afraid you might see? 

I look at this combo today and I think that the goal is for us all to be comfortable with ourselves as we are, alone. Which means, not the woman so-and-so loves, but the woman that loves herself. For being herself. Without needing any other form of affirmation. She, herself is enough. Whether or not anyone else deems her worthy. 

Personally, I think most people run away from themselves. "I'm too busy," "I don't see the point," and the hasty "I love myself, go talk to someone else" are all just euphemisms for "I'm afraid of what I'll find if I ever look." And, even as experienced at being alone as I am, I'll include myself in that group. I often see myself distracting myself in many ways...watching TV, fiddling with this or that...in an effort to not be seated entirely alone with myself. 

I know people who read a lot. That's not being alone with yourself. I know people who have to have to have the radio on in the background all the time. That's not conducive to being alone with yourself. Truly being alone with yourself is about taking the time to go within and just be. Alone. With yourself. With nothing to distract you. It's about seeing both your light and shadow sides and sitting in that, and that being OK. 

There is a part of me that craves this type of time. And too often, like I said above, I find ways to distract myself. It's hard to feel good about yourself in our society. Feel too good about yourself and you're arrogant. Don't feel good enough and you're self loathing. Feel just the right good about yourself and someone will come along to tell you how wrong you are. 

If you believe we create our own realities, then we created this, too. 

In the past I've seen how I've deleted negative people from my life in order to have a more positive surrounding to love myself in. I see how I've shielded myself from some in order to keep myself from being hurt. I see many ways in which I've held people—and even life—at arm's distance just to insulate myself from getting hurt. So that I can be better at loving myself. 

But the problem isn't out there. It's inside. It's in negative self talk and denial of shortcomings. It's in harsh self judgment and fear of shadow qualities. And it's in holding my true light in sway so as not to shine as brightly as possible. So as not to call attention to myself. The people outside of us that "make us feel bad about ourselves" are just mirrors. Nothing else. And with all that going on in our own heads, it's no wonder why we avoid being alone with ourselves! We may not like what we see, and what then? 

Or worst of all, we may be surprised at all we are, then have to actually do something about it. 

We do so much to protect ourselves from hurt. We keep the shadows locked tightly within. But, ironically, looking inside and facing all our demons is the only true way to protect ourselves from life's slings and arrows. It's no surprise that that confident, balanced, divine part of ourselves that our soul lost touch with when it came to earth, can be easily found in the last place we'd ever look. 

5/18/13-5/19/13—Living Your Higher Truth

Weekend Reading: Elephant, Bearer of Justice from the Animal Wisdom Tarot. The guidebook for this deck points out something interesting. Justice, being at the center of the Major Arcana, shifts us from the physical world into the spiritual. And it advises us to do what is right and that which is a true reflection of ourselves. So this weekend do just that. And if you find yourself doing something you'd rather not admit is a true reflection of yourself, note that. Sometimes we find ourselves caught in outdated patterns that reflect a part of ourselves we've been working to leave behind. And sometimes we just don't realize what our actions say about us. So be a conscious observer this weekend. And if you find yourself doing something you'd be ashamed to say reflects your true being, make a different choice. Choose to live your higher truth. 

5/17/13—Uncovering Your Inner Camel

Today's Draw: Camel, Seeker of Branches in the You position from the Animal Wisdom Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. When was the last time someone told you something compelling about who you are? Did you agree with them? And what would you say if I told you you were a camel?

You know there's an issue when you have Amazon Prime shipping and you forget you ordered something by the time it arrives. But I must say, I was pleasantly surprised to receive this deck. And when I opened it, I was even more surprised. It's a really nice deck. 

A "seeker" in this deck is a Knight, and "branches" are Wands. But I like the phrase "seeker of branches". It sounds somehow noble and "special". It makes me want to know what it means and what it has to do with me. 

Last Sunday a woman gave me an energy healing and when it was done she said, "they told me you are someone who fills in the spaces between things." By "they" she meant the healing spirits or guides that come to her when she performs her healings. I wasn't expecting a message from spirit on top of my healing, but when I got this one, I was intrigued. Now I've been thinking about it all week. 

The most obvious meaning of it is what I do for a living. As a consultant, I fill in gaps of manpower or expertise. That's what I do. When an agency needs a writer who is a subject matter expert or when a company doesn't have the right writer—or enough writers—on staff to handle the workload, they call me. So I literally fill in the spaces. 

Then last night the man who interviewed me on the radio said that he and I both lived "in between" or something like that. By that, I think he meant that we ventured into that space between humans and spirit. For him, I think that meant he was a medium. For me, I think it's about the writing I do here...filling in that gap between seeking and understanding. It's a flattering thought. 

Even in my advertising job I feel like the words and ideas come from someplace other than me. I'm sure there's something you do where you lose all sense of space and time. Maybe it's gardening. Or painting.  Or some other passion. When we go into "the zone", I think we're actually occupying that space between human and spirit. So that's another I might fill in the spaces with my writing. 

Anyway, all of this is to say that it's always interesting and valuable to hear people tell you who you are...when they're not screaming at you, that is...haha. Because sometimes they have things to say that, as long as you've known yourself, you've never considered about yourself before. So when today's "You" card came up with the compelling "Seeker of Branches" label, it reminded me of that. In what way might you be a camel or a seeker of branches? Frankly, it could mean anything. 

So I could tell you what the deck's creator meant by that, but I think it would be more fun for you figure out how you might be a seeker of branches for yourself. After all, the card came up for YOU. What does that mean to you? Are the branches branches of peace? Are they handholds to cling on to? Are they full of fruit? Are you a genealogist? A river explorer? 

And if that fails to inspire you, how are you like the camel? Do you persevere through harsh environments? Do you see life from a higher perspective? Do you have vast inner reserves? Are you a beast of burden? What? 

It's rare to have someone tell you who you are in a way that sets you off on a fresh journey of discovery. I got that gift this week and now I'm giving it to you. We're all seeking something and in some way, we're all a seeker of branches...and we're all a camel. Look at yourself this way and see if you can find something about yourself you never really knew before. 

5/16/13—Taking the Hardest Step

Today's Draw Classic*: Two of Wands from the Art of Life Tarot. Are you ready to leave a part of yourself behind? Have you made the decision to make it happen yet? Or are you still not ready to leave the comfort of where you are?

Today you get a classic post because I'll be guesting on an internet radio program during the time I usually write this post. If you want to listen, the show will be archived. Click this text to listen. 

Now to today's draw...The Two of Wands is a card of surveying possibilities and making plans. But sometimes we can get stuck in the process of surveying, planning, dreaming, envisioning and wishing, and never end up moving forward. And the reason for that is the J. P. Morgan quote on today's card:

"The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are."

It sounds so simple, but it's really kind of hard. Where we are is predictable. It's safe. It's easy. We know how to maneuver it. And it keeps us in our "story"...the one we discussed yesterday. 

We have grand visions of where we want to go. We put our energy into looking forward. And it would great if we could close the door on who we are once we've landed safely in who we want to be. But we can't. We have to leap into that in-between world where one door is closed and the other is not yet open. 

There are times I'm very willing to enter that realm. And there are other times I cling to tightly to where I am out of fear of either the failure or success of who I want to be. At times like that, it's good to be reminded that we can't step forward without making that decision to lift one foot up and leave where we've been resting for so long. 

And the word "decision" is key. It's the difference between "trying" and "doing". Once you've made a decision, you have to move forward. The good news is that it's usually the hardest single step you'll make on the way to your dreams. 

*Taken from a post on 11/27/12

5/15/13—Claiming Your Power

TODAY'S DRAW BREAKING NEWS!!!! 
I will be interviewed on an internet radio program Wednesday night at 7pm Eastern US about spirituality, my deck, breaking the rules, manifestation and more. The show will be archived if you miss it live. I hope you'll tune in. Details can be found here.  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/psychicalx/2013/05/15/breakin-the-rules-alx-interviews-tierney-sadler


Today's Draw: Eight of Swords from the Victorian Romantic in the What to Avoid position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Where do feel stuck in your life? What are you hoping will happen to make you unstuck? Do you have a plan?

In all its many artistic interpretations, the Eight of Swords usually depicts someone "trapped" in a situation they can easily get out of. Look at the picture. Are those ropes holding her wrists together really that inescapable? Is she being poorly taken care of? Does she look like the victim of anything?

At first glance, the picture seems to portray a woman held against her will, but the more you study the details, the more comical her situation appears. Now what if I told you it's likely the same picture is present somewhere in your life?

I'm stuck in this job. 
I can't leave my husband. 
I don't have the time. 
That is too difficult for me. 
Quitting smoking is too hard. 
I can't meditate. 
I can't move forward.

Those are just a few of the things we tell ourselves to remain trapped in a less-than-satisfying life. They're all excuses. And people hate this word, but they're all the statements of a victim. Reality is....

I choose to stay in this job until the economy improves. 
I'm afraid of all the uncertainties involved with leaving my husband. 
I don't want to give anything up in order to make the time. 
I'm not willing to put in the effort to learn something new. 
I choose to continue to yield to my nicotine addiction. 
I tried meditating once and it didn't work, so I won't try again. 
I choose to remain tied to the past. 

The first set of statements identify you as powerless over your life or situation. They make you a victim. The second set of statements acknowledge your power, as well as your choice to continue the unfulfilling behavior. And until you acknowledge that it's a choice, nothing will ever change for you. 

There won't be any knights riding in on white horses. There is no secret force out there looking to save you from anything. The fairy tales we read as children are charming but they've also screwed us up. We believe in Cinderella and Prince Charming and happily ever after. And all throughout our lives, movies and books and other influences reinforce these things as truth. 

So when they don't happen to us, we wonder why....another victimized way of thinking. We choose to believe it because we want to believe it. So we look around us and think we see it in pictures or over the fence, but again, we're victimizing ourselves. It doesn't exist. Life doesn't happen to you. A fairy godmother doesn't come along and sprinkle you with dust and suddenly everything's ok. 

There are good people out there who will help you if you ask them, but the only hero—the only savior—you're going to come across in life is yourself. And the best way to start is to re-language the things in your life that seem insurmountable. The more you "save yourself", the more you see how magical and powerful you truly are. Claim your power to create positive change in your life and do it soon. Because the one thing worse than doing the hard work of creating change is continuing to live a powerless life subject to the whims of outside forces. 

5/14/13—Checking In With Your Superpower

Today's Draw: Strength from the Art of Life Tarot in the Lesson position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. What superpowers have you developed in your lifetime? Are they impervious to attack? Or could something quietly worm its way in just enough for a speck of kryptonite to flow in?

I have this really cool superpower. I can allow certain types of thoughts and fears (certainly not all types...I'm not THAT good) to pass through my mind with non-judgment. By that, I mean that instead of entertaining a fear and allowing it to swirl out of control in my head, I can note it and let it flow out of my head as quickly as it flowed in. I don't judge it true or false, good or bad, scary or pleasant. It is what it is. A thought.

This is a superpower, because I used to be one of those people who over thinks things and worries and allows fears to take over. Then through divine means (and a long-lived meditation practice combined with conscious discipline), I found myself nearly impervious to fear-based, catastrophic thinking when it came to money, my career, my creative talents and other aspects of the professional part of my life. I did this just in time to become a freelance writer, supporting a rag-tag pack of dogs through two recessions and countless other challenges. 

See, there are consultants who get gigs that last for six months with guaranteed income. Then there are consultants who earn their mortgage a quarter-hour at a time. I'm the latter. It can be hard to survive as the latter in a competitive, uncertain landscape like advertising. I know of very few people in the marketplace who have lasted as long as I (as an aging single person in a young man's game with no other stream of income or support.) I say all of this not to brag, but to paint a picture of how truly awesome my superpower is, and yet how vulnerable it can be under the right conditions. 

See, this weekend I was minding my own business when I inadvertently allowed a couple of fear-based, self defeating thoughts to creep into my head in regard to my capability, competence and future as a creative writer. It's not like I came into contact with kryptonite or anything. It was the same kind of stimuli that had bounced off my brain of steel many times in the past. But somehow, something breached the perimeter and started working on me. So the timing of this Strength card with the Francis Bacon quote, "He knows not his own strength that hath not met adversity," is perfect. It reminds me why certain things happen. Without being tested you forget a superpower is a superpower. 

Ordinary powers are made to be weakened and compromised. Those tests are usually obvious...the invitation to the candy gala right after you give up sweets for lent. But superpower tests have to be sneaky. They must appear non-threatening and insignificant. Then, once inside your head, they swell up like a tick, feeding on your confidence until one day, boom!, your brain explodes. :D

Adversity comes to us for a reason. It shows us where we've left ourselves open...or where we've lost our vigilance. It's the first Seal Team...the one that opens the door just wide enough for the second Seal Team to roll the kryptonite in. So this weekend I had some pre-adversity. It didn't really work. I was over it by today. But it was working on working. 

For you it could be the thought that sends you in a downward spiral toward depression...don't entertain that first thought. Or it could be the conflict that makes you think about smoking after 20 years...close the door and lock it. Or it could be something that sends you back into the arms of a toxic old lover. It could be anything. But it will come with a whisper first...a whisper subtle enough to charm the door open for your kryptonite to roll in. 

On one hand, the whisper seems evil and divisive. But in actuality it's the Jor-El to your Kal-El (look at me and my Superman geek talk!) It's an early warning system that could keep you out of more dire circumstances ahead—adversity enough to keep you forever connected to your own super-human strengths.