6/12/13—Making a Solid Plan

Today's Draw: Time for Growth, Healing and Make a Solid Plan from Tierney's personal oracle in the You position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Is there an area in your life where you're not making sufficient progress? Do you have a solid plan in place? What is the most effective type of plan to help you make the most progress—something structured or something looser?

One of my Facebook friends died yesterday. I can't tell you how many times over the past couple of years that I've "known" him that I've heard his "voice" in my head. See, he had diabetes and ultimately he died from complications that came from that. And I remember him telling me that he had screwed around too long in getting his issue under control and now he was paying the price for it. 

Since that time, his life was one medical issue after another until finally he had kidney failure and died. He was someone who, frankly, I probably knew as a kid. But I didn't remember him from back then. I only came to know him on Facebook as people friended each other in anticipation of a class reunion that was held a couple of years ago. His passing has saddened and shocked so many of those in my Facebook sphere today. 

Like I said, I've heard his voice in my head multiple times over the past couple years as I've strayed off my path and realigned, strayed and realigned in my struggle with diet and exercise and keeping my own diabetes under control. In the scheme of things, I do have diabetes, but I don't have the numbers of people who are in big trouble. Yet. And a couple of years ago, I had actually dieted myself out of being considered diabetic as far as my numbers were concerned. But like I said, I've realigned and strayed, realigned and strayed since then and am now in the process of realigning again with the help of my nutritionist, coach, energy healer, all-around great gal, Alana Sugar. (Yes, that's her real name.)

Alana, if she doesn't mind me promoting her, is a fabulous gift in that she could have given up on me a long time ago. For a while, I gave up on her, like an out of control addict falling off the wagon. She has worked with me and stuck with me and done what she could, even if that meant that she listened to me whine for an entire session or worked with me energetically when I wouldn't allow her to nutritionally. She's a good egg. 

Anyway, today's draw is about growth and healing and making a solid plan for both. And it occurred to me, that I kind of wing it a lot of the time, especially where health and fitness is concerned. And that's not working for me. Nor does a very strict plan that limits me in any way. That much I know. That's why I keep falling off the wagon. I don't like limitations. But it occurred to me that, while I have some sort of vague plan, it's not really solid and directed. In many ways, Alana is my plan. And while she is an enormous help to me and keeps me motivated, she can't do the work for me. 

This is a valuable thing for me to be aware of today. When it comes to my personal and professional growth, I have some sort of vision of what the finishing line looks like and where many of the milestones are along the way. So I'm not flying blind. And I feel like I do pretty well in those areas. I could move faster, sure, but I'm not dissatisfied with my progress. 

And while I have some sense of what I want the finishing line to look like health-wise, I really haven't wrapped it in the same ambition as I have the rest of the life. There's a lot more to it than that. There are false beliefs and wounds that need to be healed. But even healing those can be fit into the plan. Honestly, I've just been winging it and making some progress here and there. But I imagine my friend kind of winged it for quite some time before he came up with a solid plan. And he did ultimately do that. But it proved too late. So his gift to me (and hopefully to some of you) will be that voice in my head reminding me that this is a serious disease and, even though it's not evident on the outside, damage is accruing the longer I put off making a plan.

In what area of your life might you be avoiding doing "the work" or otherwise not making progress? And what kind of damage might it be doing...to your health, relationships, spirit or otherwise? What, if anything, stands between you and a solid plan? 

6/11/13—Making Love Your Crowning Influence

Today's Draw: King of Cups in the Crowning Influences position from the Art of Life Tarot and the Deck of 1000 Spreads. Do you find yourself choosing things over love? Could you be making more choices that lead to love than you're making now? What is the crowning influence in your life?

After about 1000 Daily Draw posts, I consider myself an expert on the one-card draw. And the Art of Life is my absolutely favorite one-card draw deck. I think part of it is because it's a non-traditional deck, part of it is the quotes (I'm a word person, after all) and part of it is the very interesting way it has of making me think. 

Crowning Influences are influences we're usually aware of that come to bear on whatever situation we're reading about. They're usually pretty major influences. And obvious ones, too. But sometimes the thing that is most obvious is the thing we tend to discount. 

This painting is a self portrait of Paul Gauguin. I did a quick Wikipedia read on him to find that, just before cutting his ear off, Van Gogh came at Gauguin with a razor blade. That's kind of interesting. He attacked Gauguin and then ran off to a brothel and cut his ear. 

Gauguin's art was not respected in his day, but he became quite famous after his death (a lifestyle blend of syphilis, alcohol and morphine did him in at 54). He ultimately inspired an entire generation of artists, including Van Gogh, Matisse and Picasso, and styles including cubism and even the American Arts and Crafts movement. 

All of that is beside the point, however. I just thought it was interesting. :D The real point, the crowing point, is that it is better to be loved than rich or powerful. One thing that I think surprised many people when my brother died, was how many people cared about him. His funeral was standing room only. Hundreds of people showed up to pay their respects. There were teams of boys he coached, their families, the people he worked with, neighbors...I don't think anyone ever knows how many lives they touch. I don't think my brother knew. He wasn't rich. He wasn't always strong. But like the King of Cups, he was loved. 

Think of yourself and those around you. Do you live your days to give and receive love? Or do live it to keep the hamster wheel moving forward? You can do both, I suppose. Being self employed, I'm in a good position to stop in the middle of the day and check in on my dogs. Have one of my Kizzie snuggles. He gives the best snuggles. 

Though, while I'm getting better at it in my later years, I have to say I focus on the money and "standing" to the detriment of self love and love of others. We think we'll always have time to get around to love, but "this project" has a deadline of now. So "this project" is what gets the attention. And so on. And we never get around to love. What is probably God's highest priority for us is the priority we place after all others. How screwed up is that? And how well is that working for our happiness?

Like my brother, I don't think any of us realize how many people out there count on/hope for/cherish our love and acceptance. If you feel like you don't receive nearly as much love as you might like, consider everyone else feels the same way. The best way I know to receive love is to give it. It's usually so appreciated that it's returned. Sure, there are some incapable of receiving and returning. But give it anyway. It may not come back from them, but it will come back. 

Money, power, fame...all of that feels good in the moment, but the feeling fades. However, the memory of being loved is one of those things that pops up while you're sitting in traffic, while you're grabbing a coffee...it never leaves your side. It lives beyond the moment and, as I've observed with my brother's family, lives on long after you die. So keep that in mind next time you have a choice between work and family...prestige and pets. We all have to earn a living. But that's not why we're here. Love should always be the crowning influence in our lives.

6/10/13—Creating Responsibility For Your Life

Today's Draw: Magician from the Dream Raven Tarot in the What to Take From The Past position from the Deck of 1000 Spreads. If you created your life, why do you suppose you made the choices you've made? Do you see them as choice or as the whims of a chaotic universe? Are you ready to take responsibility for who and what you are?

The Dream Raven is a deck I had been anticipating for quite some time and it doesn't disappoint. The colors are just gorgeous and the quality is typical Schiffer, which is darned good. I know Beth wasn't thinking of my Deck of 1000 Spreads when she drew this deck, but the colors work together quite well. 

Anyway, the Magician is all about creation and manifestation...the part of life you create. And by "part of life you create", I mean all of your life. Are there aspects of your life highly influenced by others? Yes. And no-ish. Because we choose how to respond and what to absorb. There are things that happen in childhood that can scar us. But each day we have the option of whether or not to heal those scars. 

I'm going to guess that most of the people reading this blog are established adults, aged 30 or over. So we're all grown up enough to decide who we are and who we want to be. We're mature enough to understand that if someone hurts our feelings that we're choosing to hurt over choosing to understand their words are about a pain inside of them and have nothing to do with us. In this way, we create every response, attitude, point of view, belief, etc. in our lives.

Further, we choose who enters our lives and who doesn't. We choose them by the attitudes, beliefs, points of view, etc, we choose to have in our lives. These people mirror things back to us that we've chosen, good and bad. If we choose to be easily hurt, we'll choose people who will hurt us. If we choose to live with loose boundaries, we'll attract people who will overstep them. And if we choose to heal our egos, we'll meet respectful people. Because disrespectful people won't even be an option to us.

Some believe we choose the human we're going to inhabit before we even come to this earth. So if you believe that, then you also have to believe that you chose the circumstances that would come along throughout your life, including your body, your family and all those childhood scars. 

In every second of every day, we're making choices that impact what we will create. And not just the bad things, either. You created the good, too. So think of a situation or circumstance in your life today. If it's something you're unhappy with, see how you chose it and figure out why. And if it's something you're happy about, give yourself credit for all the choices you made to manifest that in your life.

6/8/13-6/9/13—Enjoying the Spotlight

Weekend Reading: Moon and Heart from my Keywordy Lenormand, now available wherever Tierney's decks are sold! Lenormand cards are usually read in pairs. Think of the first card as a noun and the second card as a verb or adjective. As you can see, there are a lot of different phrases and meanings you can come up with. But the one I'm choosing for you this weekend is to enjoy a moment in the spotlight. So many of us normally mourn our shortcomings and brush off our accomplishments. But this weekend there's something to be proud of. Enjoy it. Maybe it's that you've got an adult child at home and are proud of them. Or maybe you win at BUNKO. Or maybe you get your list done early this weekend. We all have so much to be proud of if we just let ourselves accept it (and refuse to accept the criticisms of others.)

Try to read this pair for yourself. The first card is the noun and the second card modifies it. What do you see? A date with a friend for the movies? A kiss beneath the dark moon? Some afternoon delight? 

6/7/13—Setting Your Own Personal Default

Today's Draw Classic*: Seeker of Fire (Page of Swords) from the Shapeshifter Tarot by Lisa Hunt. Would you generally call yourself a diplomatic person? Do you tend to be diplomatic in your actions and words, but not in your thoughts? If diplomacy and discretion are society's defaults, what are your personal defaults?

The book for this deck speaks of messages and diplomacy when you get the Seeker of Fire. 

Recently I've been thinking a lot about things like diplomacy and discretion. I think if you look around your life, you might not realize all the times in a day or week you are limited in what you can say or do for the sake of diplomacy or discretion. 

In writing this blog, I frequently subject myself to that. Certainly I don't want to use peoples' names in a public place without their permission. Then there are situations where I'll talk about something, but hold back a lot of details so the situation or person can't be easily identified. Then there are the times you just can't discuss an issue at all, whether it's because you know someone involved will read it or because it's just too hot button to be diplomatic about.

Then there's work. How many times a day do you keep yourself from saying or doing something too personal or too crass at work....or from telling someone off? You stop in the store on the way home and run into a neighbor and the niceties come out, even though their dog is always peeing on your grass. You go home and keep from saying something because your partner has had a hard day.

Then there are those situations where you find yourself between friends, both sides wanting you to take up their cause. One side thinks the diplomatic thing for you to do would be to choose their side. Because they're in the right. The other side thinks the same. So you can't win. And if you choose both sides...or if you choose Switzerland...you're really screwed. So you choose whatever you feel is right, because you can't win for losing. 

After a while with all this jockeying around to be diplomatic and whatnot, we lose touch with what's genuine to us, though. We become socially trained automatons. Even outspoken people with no filter will find themselves saying or doing the socially acceptable thing from time to time. And there's good reason for a lot of it. It's how we get by in a civil society. 

I think it's worth considering what's really beneath your choices, though. Because when we're in those situations where diplomacy isn't going to do us any favors, we should be able to know what's really driving our decisions—a socially trained desire to not create waves or something that is truly genuine to ourselves. It sounds very simple. but if you really explore, you may find that it's really hard to separate the programmed part of you from the "you" part of you. One way to tell the difference is, do your thoughts mirror your words and actions? If not, it may not be genuine to you.

But what about those situations that weren't in the guidebook? Or the ones we're not prepared to encounter? Like the time I was briefly stuck in an elevator with a dude with Tourettes who was trying to chat me up about the "n-word people" he worked with. Or when the neighborhood meth addicts stopped by to borrow my phone and ask if they could siphon a gallon of gas from my car. That's when having a personal default comes in handy.

In the past year or so, I've been using a personal default of kindness, drama avoidance and quietly walking away from situations that don't serve me. I find this covers most situations and it's not always the diplomatic or popular thing to do. Especially in the midst of a drama, because it doesn't preclude saying no and detaching from the situation. It's not always easy to follow, and my thoughts are still catching up to my words and actions. I'm still limiting what I might say or do, but I'm doing it for my own personal growth and aligning with the spiritual path I'm on, not because of any societal agenda. I'm not 100%, but I'm doing pretty well, considering my old personal default was loudly telling people off and using the "f" word a lot. That covered most situations, too. :D

So what's your default? You could consider it a personal code or philosophy of dealing with others. Have you ever considered this before? And if you have, how consistent are you with it? Is is something you just say or use when it's convenient? Or is something you stick to, even if it pisses other people off?

*Taken from a post on 2/15/12.

3/6/13—Giving Your Soul a Taste of Home

Today's Draw: The Warrior of Souls from the Dreampower Tarot. Have you ever considered seeing life entirely through the eyes of the soul? What might that look like? And how might it change the way you walk through life?

The Warrior of Souls is a hermaphrodite, representing a balance of male and female energies. He/she invites us along the path to the sea of the soul, navigating the depths of both logic and emotion. This is a warrior that conquers through love, understanding and compassion. He/she is invincible, a spiritual inspiration who understands the power of each sex within. 

What do you suppose it means to be a Warrior of Souls? It's not someone who fights for the individual...for Tierney or Sue or Pete. It's a warrior fighting for that part of us that is eternal, perfect and essential to being. But if the soul is eternal and pure at its essence, what would it need with a warrior?

One theory about souls is that they incarnate in order to experience different forms of life and different experiences of life. Life gives the soul a form to incarnate into, as well as a series of variables to deal with during that lifetime, driven by the personality...the part of you that is Tierney, Pete or Sue. So it would make sense that an androgynous figure would represent the warrior form of human life—it's a neutral vessel from which to experience all of human life. 

But for the other variables of life—those locked in human thought, personality, instinct and emotion—you'd think a neutral position would be something akin to non-judgment and/or a meditative state. So why might this warrior choose love and compassion to do battle for the soul?

I don't know if it's like this now, but when I spent a summer in Europe 25+ years ago, ice was hard to come by when you ordered a drink. If you asked for it, you may or may not get it there, while here, it's ubiquitous. Then there are other types of differences, such as language, social mores and societal quirks. Nothing devastating in the adjustments you have to make to spend time over there. But it's not fully comfortable. It's not fully "home". 

I imagine the soul feels the same when it's here on earth inside a human body. So many emotions! So many thoughts! Some less palatable than others. While this is a beautiful planet to be on, being a human is a very complex thing. An interesting thing. An educational thing. But not comfortable. Not pure. Not perfect or peaceful. Not like "home". 

Love and compassion are, at once, the easiest and hardest states for humans to live in. When we challenge ourselves to look at everything through the eyes of love, understanding, compassion, we challenge ourselves to see our world through the eyes of the soul...through the universal heart. When we balance the male and female sexualities and drives within us, we exist in balance with the soul. 

And when we can manage to do either or both, we give our soul a gift as great as the one it gives us in being able to see life through its eyes...we give it the gift of feeling at home within us. Even if it's only for a day or an hour at a time. If, for no other reason, we take the warrior's invitation and try to see our world entirely with love and compassion now and again, isn't that worth it?

*Taken from 8/16/11.

6/5/13—Letting Go With Love

Today's Draw Classic*: The Lovers from the Tarot of Transformation. Who do you love? And more importantly, how do you love? Where might you be holding back on your love with someone and is the reason really good enough?

Today's draw features the ultimate healer of all—love. This particular card is subtitled "Love in the Highest Octave". And while we might usually read The Lovers as a card of choice...or choice between love and something else...this particular one is about "the higher state of consciousness that comes when your heart is transformed by love." Which is actually a choice, because we choose who, how and how far to love. 

There is a lot of emphasis in society on the love that exists between humans, primarily between you, your mate and your children. In fact, when we say the word "love" the images conjured in our minds are that of our ideal mate or of a smiling baby wrapped up in blankets. 

The next thought that may occur to us is self love. But other forms of love may include the love you have for something you do, the love for friend or sibling, the love you have for an animal or the love you have for your god. 

So here is what I'm here to tell you—love is love. It doesn't matter who or what you love. I'm not so lucky in the romantic love department. I don't have children. But lord, do I have love. And lord, do I give it. 

We're socialized to place love in hierarchies...love for a mate or child is considered more important and more pure. But what I've learned from having neither in my life for quite some time (and from the times I have been in relationships) is that all of that is bollocks. What's most important in love is how you do it. Do you give yourself fully? Can you give and accept deep intimacy? Do you make yourself worthy of the other's trust? Does the love you give reflect your love of self? And by that, I mean do you love people who also know how to give and accept deep intimacy in a relationship? 

And here's a big one—Can you love despite what the other is feeling? I'm not talking foolishly or obsessively. If someone is abusive, I recommend you send them love from afar. If someone wants you out of their life, let go of them. But can you continue to love—continue to hold loving thoughts—for someone who no longer loves you? Can you let go with love? 

It's big because it's hard. Life seems to tell us that if someone no longer loves us or thinks poorly of us that we have to stop loving them in return. And that's just not the case. We do have to let go of the hope of them loving us in return. But we can still love them. And by doing so, we can heal the pain of losing them in our lives. 

Love isn't about what happens between the sheets. It can't be cemented by a contract. It's really none of the things we see on TV or in our fantasies. That's lust. Or it's a fairytale. That's all love under perfect conditions. Anyone can do that. 

Healing love happens despite...despite socks left on the floor, despite petty squabbles, despite an extra 50 lbs, despite what they feel about you, despite the awful things people do to people, despite the fact that they've died and despite whether or not they're aware of your love. It's not who or why or when you love, it's how you love that determines how big a force for healing love can be in your life. It's about letting love remain at the forefront while all the other crap is going on. And giving is enough. You don't have to receive in return for love to be healing. 

The more you love conditionally, the more you'll need to heal in your life. You'll have more arguments. You'll have more frustrations. You'll have more ups and downs. It's the logical outcome of hinging your most powerful emotion on outside forces...the way others act...the way others love you back. 

But if you love because you ARE love, then your most powerful emotion hinges entirely on whether or not you love. It matters not what happens outside of you, only on what happens inside. Does that mean people will take advantage of you? No, you can love without allowing others to take advantage of you. You can say no without resentment. You can say it with love. And if they take their love for you away from you because you said no, you can still hold love for them. You don't have to stop giving love just because someone stopped loving you. 

It all sounds corny, I know. But I had this dog named Passion that was like a child. I mean, she was a dog that was more human than canine. And she would get piffy with me and ignore me and give me attitude if she didn't like the way things were going at any given moment. Just like a child. But my love for her never waned. Never when she peed on the sofa in her sleep because she was old. Never when she was aloof with me. Never when she wouldn't come when called. In fact, some of these things made me love her that much more. I had made a conscious decision when she was a puppy that, no matter what, I would love her. And I lived up to that decision. Even when days or weeks would pass with no outward show of love from her. And trust me, she was that stubborn. 

There is nothing any of my dogs can do to diminish how I feel. And I would imagine that the same is true for every mother of a human out there. The mother of that boy who shot all the people in Colorado? Do you think she has stopped loving him? I certainly hope not! Unconditional love is a healing love. It's easy to give to pets and progeny. And to God. At least for me. Some people stop loving God when they get sick or someone they love dies. With unconditional love, the whole topic of forgiveness is moot. Forgiveness happened before they even did the offending act. 

But that kind of love is harder to give to others, like husbands and siblings and friends. And strangers. And, fercryinoutloud, to ourselves. Which is exactly why we should try. Because the more divine love we're able to give...the more love "despite"...the more it heals us. The less our emotions ride on things outside us. And the more often we walk around with loving, healing chemicals inside our body, as opposed to toxic, fear-based or anger-based ones. 

I'm willing to bet there's someone out there, right at the tip of your tongue, that you could be giving love to right now instead of a host of other conflicted emotions. You know who this person is. What's stopping you from holding them in your heart with love?

*Adapted from 9/7/12.