2/13/13—Making a Decision

Today's Draw: The Seeker (Fool) in the House of the Ring from the Gaian Tarot and the Deck of Lenormand Houses. Can't get started on a change you want to make? Or you start over and over again, only to fail? Want to know the secret of a new beginning?

This may be the first time I've ever used tarot just with my Deck of Lenormand Houses. If you don't know about my Deck of Lenormand Houses, you can purchase it on my blog. It's like the Deck of 1000 Spreads, but for Lenormand.

Anyway, yesterday we were talking about new starts and the advice was to know that it's ok to just start in a new direction because the universe is always guiding you. And today is about new beginnings, too.

For the better part of 26 years, I smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. I was cool with that for the first 15 years or so, but during the last decade of smoking I tried to quit on a regular basis. I don't think I ever lasted more than three weeks. For all the people out there who advise others to "just quit", I promise you, it's not that easy.

Consider that the average smoker introduces the drug into their system every 15-30 minutes for YEARS. In about ten minutes after you quit, your brain wants the drug. And it pesters you until you get it. You are chemically, emotionally and physically addicted. That's why they say it's one of the hardest drugs to quit. It took me 10 years of trying, many of which were honest efforts borne of genuine desire to quit. It took me all those 10 years to finally learn the one secret that would save me.

Making a decision. A commitment. A promise to never smoke again.

All the other times I had it in my head that, if something really bad happened, I could have a cigarette. Or after a few years, I might be in the clear. Or if I found out I was dying. There was always an "if" that I would use to comfort myself with. And it was absolutely the wrong way to go because the second you leave a door even cracked to your addiction, it will come busting through.

When I finally made a decision to never smoke again—under no circumstance—you know what happened? Quitting was easy. I had every option open to me when I had a craving, except one. I could never smoke again. It was the decision...the commitment that made the difference.

In the past, I had made decisions to "try to quit" or "to quit". But I had never made an absolute decision to never smoke again. Consider the difference. I made a decision to quit. Which I did. Then I started back up again. It wasn't absolute. I said I'd quit and I did. But I never said "forever". Or "never again".

So what does that have to do with the Fool in the House of the Ring? Well, Ring is all about commitment. And the Fool is about new beginnings. So making a commitment to one option and not allowing other options to muddy the waters is a great way to make a new beginning. Want to leave your miserable man, but keep going back for more? Make a commitment to never go back again. Want to start in a new career direction? Make a commitment to never consider any other option again...or make a commitment to never let a Sunday pass without sending out a resume. Want to lose weight? Make a commitment to never overeat again. Or to never spend a week on your sofa without exercising. Whatever change you're trying to make, there is something you can commit to that will begin to chip away at the old behavior.

I know people don't like "never", but once the offending behavior is no longer an option, it won't call to you. That's what I learned from quitting smoking 10 years ago. It's not the quitting that's the hard part. It's the making the decision. It took me 10 years of quitting to finally make the decision to never smoke again. And it seems to be taking me as long with overeating.

The reason the decision or commitment is powerful is because we tend to honor those things. For me, once I make a decision, it's made. Other decisions can be made in the future as you hone your focus, but the original decision usually still stands.

So somewhere in our lives, there's a place where we can make a decision to "never" (fill in the blank). And maybe it's a baby step, like I will never watch HoneyBooBoo ever again just because I'm bored. A decision like that is a gateway decision for dealing with TV addiction...haha.

So think about it. What new way of being do you want to bring into your life? Yesterday asked us to take that leap, knowing we'll be guided (which is also what the Fool tells us, coinkadinkally). And today asks us to make a commitment to this new direction and never looking back. What will you decide?