Today's Draw: The Six of Fire from the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert, Part 2. Do you tend to get so caught up in daily life that you lose touch with anything beyond bills, work and caring for family? What kind of activities are guaranteed to make you transcend everyday life and go into that larger place of spirit? How often do find yourself going there...often enough?
I have a tendency to become very single-minded sometimes. For example, when work is busy, I'll go into "work mode" and that's all I'll focus on until the busy patch passes. Somewhere inside my head a switch goes off and says, "you must stand your post until all work is done." So during those periods, it's a miracle if I get out and go grocery shopping, let alone do anything else.
Really, it's the same thing as saying I get so involved in life that I forget to take care of myself. I'm sure you can relate. And it's not always that I don't have time to do something for myself. Most of the time I do have time. But for one reason or another, I just don't take it.
So today's idea for Five Healing Thoughts and Practices week is to take the time. And don't just take the time, take it doing something you get lost in. See the way the woman in this card is lost in her ecstatic dance? And the others are lost in drumming? It's about going to a place in our head where clients, kids, bills, schedules, husbands and the other crap we think about the other 24x7x365 doesn't exist.
For me, this is something I simply cannot do in the home. I work here, do everything here. So I have to get away. Sometimes it works to hang out with a friend, but that doesn't always work. Sometimes that's just getting away in the body, but the mind still churns with work stuff. Really, the best place for me is in nature. I get so lost in the scents and scenery that I lose awareness of all else.
The other day I arranged my schedule so that I could take the afternoon off. And I scooped up my dogs and took them to the park. This doesn't happen that often when the weather is hot, but it was a nice day with low humidity. And it just so happened that we hit one of our favorite spots at a time when nobody else was there. The path was lined with sweet smelling white flowers. Butterflies were flitting here and there. Birds were chirping. Crickets were singing. A breeze was blowing. And since there was no one else around, I was able to let the dogs off the leash, so I didn't even have to worry about them pulling me through the woods.
Not too far down the path is a nice little sandy beach on the river with huge driftwood logs you can sit on. This is near a marina and there are a number of boats anchored off shore, so you could hear metal clanking against the sail posts and someone had windchimes on their boat. And I got lost in all that for really just a few moments, but enough to deliver healing. Enough to remind me that the stuff I get bogged down in every day is trivial compared to the larger force that was alive in me that very minute.
A neat little side story is that, at one point, one of my dogs was sniffing at a shell along the shoreline. So I thought I'd go over and check the shell out. As I got up off the log, I remember thinking "I wonder if there's any beach glass here?" I'm constantly surprised at the things you find along the shore of the river, like the rather large snail shell (or whatever critter was inside) that my dog found. Anyway, as I returned to the log, sitting right next to where my arse was just minutes before, there was a piece of beach glass! I hadn't noticed it before. It was like it appeared out of nowhere, a spontaneous manifestation from the universe!
Anyway, back to the larger force within. Life can confuse us into believing that what happens in the brief phase of time that we're here on earth is real...is what truly is. But when we lose ourselves in that part of us that transcends this existence, we discover what TRULY, truly is. Where our everyday lives can make us feel small and leave us to wonder what it's really about, losing ourselves in that higher place shows us how infinite and integral we are.
I believe we came here to live the very life we get bogged down in, rather than trying to find a way to always live in the larger place. We have all of eternity to live in that larger place. But taking these respites serves to remind us that this is not all there is. And sometimes we desperately need to know that. We don't even know how desperately until we're there...until we're truly home.
Today's Draw: Six of Fire from the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert, Part 1. Do you consider yourself a healer? Would you like to be someone who spreads more healing throughout your world (and, in the process, receives more healing in return)? How often do use the words "I love you" to let someone know you love them, rather than just assuming that they know?
Sometimes I feel like I focus too much on the things we do wrong on our paths, rather than the things we do right or CAN do right. That's not really the case, but it is how I feel after the past couple of weeks, which have been kind of rough. So I declare this week to be Five Healing Thoughts or Practices week.
The Six of Fire talks about generating healing energy with others and being the inspiration of healing and transformation for both yourself and others. Anytime we gather in a group, the energy rises exponentially...to more than the sum of all the individual energies in the group. So if you really want to generate some healing energy, do it in a group. (That's part of the intended meaning for this card, but I see something else in the card. So we'll work with the same card tomorrow, too.)
First let me talk about what "healing" is. It's not just physical, "get well soon" kind of stuff. It's emotional and psychic and social and every which way. So when you spend time with family and friends and feel better when you leave than you did when you arrived, that was a healing. Really, anytime you choose love over some other emotion or act—anger, judgment, gossip, indifference, frustration, convenience ;)—you're putting out healing energies and distributing healing chemicals throughout your body.
So really just getting friends together for drinks and a gabfest can be a healing. Or you could go farther, by having a group over to celebrate the beauty inside each person in the group. We don't always take the time to tell the people in our lives what makes them so important to us. We actually tend to be more critical of the people we care about than purposely making them aware of their gifts. We assume they know we love them, rather than telling them.
I remember, when I was a little girl, telling my mother that I didn't think my father loved me. And she said to me "he loves you. He doesn't always show it or say it in ways that make it obvious, but you see it in other ways." So I looked for those other ways. But it was hard, because little girls don't understand things like how hard dads work to support their families and that that's a way they show love. I would have preferred he told me and showed me in ways I could understand. And I'm still like that today.
I'm not yet 50 and I've been without parents most of my life. I've also already lost a sibling. So me and my brothers and sisters have understood loss for a long time. More than 25 years ago, we began a practice of always saying we love each other at the end of every conversation. I credit my brother Robert for starting it, but who knows who started it. Anyway, it doesn't matter if we butt dial the wrong number, if the conversation goes poorly or what—we always say we love each other before we hang up.
That's a healing practice we do in our family. We do it because we understand that you can blink and the other person can be gone. And we want our last words to be words of love. But, for me at least, I also do it because I don't want anyone wondering just because I don't say it. I learned a lesson this past spring when my brother died. He and I had issues. But those issues meant nothing when placed beside the reality of death. We healed that before he died, but had he died suddenly, neither of us may have ever realized just how much stronger that bond is than the BS we let stand between us.
Anyway, I'm guessing that most of the people reading this have become a greater force of healing for themselves and those around them over the years. It's valuable to take a moment and reflect on that to see how we've softened our edges and amplified our appreciation of those in our lives. Some of it comes with age, some with spiritual awareness. It doesn't take much more than smiling at someone who looks like they could use a smile, really. That's a very healing act. For both parties.
So we're all doing it already anyway...spreading our healing energy. And we may even be doing it without realizing it. Just imagine how much more we could do if we became more conscious of it and did it on purpose. Anytime you choose to project love over some other emotion, you're spreading your healing energy. How much love can you spread today?
Weekend Reading: Three of Bottles from the Sideshow Tarot. In the world of the sideshow they know how to spot a mark. A mark is someone who is gullible or easily taken advantage of. And a really good mark is one that just keeps coming back for more...someone who truly believes the shell game is a game of chance and it's only a matter of time before they win. But, see, the game is rigged. And the gamekeeper can't be trusted. So bear that in mind this weekend and try not to be a mark. Keep an eye out for someone in your world who is really good at social, emotional or other kinds of sleight of hand. The more innocent and well meaning you tell yourself they are, the bigger the mark you'll become. And when it's all over, you can cry about being taken advantage of by meanies all you want, but the real culprit in this game is your gullibility...or your need to be liked...or your convenient denial. Nobody can take advantage of you without your permission. So don't give them your permission....and don't give more than you're prepared to lose. Consider yourself warned. ;)
Today's Draw: Eight of Flames from the Wormweird Tarot. Do ever you find yourself steering things to suit your purposes? Are you not beyond using emotion to get what you want? Do you hate it when others try to control you?
For the final day of Shadow Side Week, we have a voodoo doll impaled and bleeding in some sort of pagan-type ritual. My first thoughts with this card were "be careful what you wish for" or "use your powers for good." The book says this card is about using power and fear to get what you want. So manipulation comes to mind.
Have you ever been asking a person a favor, having an argument with someone or engaging in some interaction where you become conscious that you're not being genuine? Or have you ever used drama for effect? Or even so much as feigned a laugh to get what you want? That's what this card is coming to us to point out today.
It's interesting because the traditional meaning of this card would be more along the lines of "fast action"...but fast in a rapid sense, than in a "shameless" sense. The tie between the traditional meaning and the Wormweird's could be just that...using fast in the way you would talk about a fast woman. Or it could be thinking too quickly for your own good.
A number of years back I decided to work on this side of me. A lot of the times when we do this stuff, we do it unconsciously. Maybe we realize afterward. But there are times we see ourselves doing it when we're doing it. I don't think there's a person alive who doesn't use our wiles from time to time. Some of call it "charm" or "magic" or "convincing" to make ourselves feel better about it. But what it really is is manipulation, control and disingenuousness.
There's nothing wrong with informing another person about the benefits of something. But I'm more the kind that will tell you the pros and cons, risks and rewards before I ask for something. I manage expectations...haha. And what's really interesting about that is that I make a living off only showing only the positive benefits of something in order to get someone to buy. But I'm not so much that way in my private life. In fact, I frequently undersell myself to avoid overselling. That, in and of itself, is a shadow issue.
Regardless, I still see myself being nicer to someone for one reason or another from time to time...or crying an extra tear for effect...or using anger or indignation in unfair ways. Like I said, I've greatly improved on this. Truth is, I had a VERY dramatic mother and come from a family of drama queens. There are many flavors of drama...over the top, understated, quiet judgment, syrupy sweet, silent treatment, childlike tantrum, superiority, purposely not playing the game to show you don't play the game...haha. I'm sure there are more. All drama is done for effect...to affect the other person or people involved. So, anyway, the whole drama thing is very ingrained in me.
So today's card alerts us to the shadow of being less than impeccable with our words and actions in order to control others. In fact, being impeccable with your words is one of the Four Agreements Don Miguel Ruiz wrote about. It's not just the words, but the intentions that lie beneath them. Everything we do comes with a consequence, whether we're aware of doing it or not. If you want people to be genuine with you, if you want to avoid being roped into things you don't want to do and if you want others to back off on being so controlling, it begins with cleaning up your own actions.
Today's Draw: Six of Swords from the Phantasmagoric Theater Tarot. Are you coming to realize you're a negative person? Or do you wonder why you seem to attract negative people? What payoff do you need to stop seeing to have a more balanced experience in this regard?
I admit that, in search of dark decks in my collection, I consulted a DarkDeckologist named J.r. He is known to covet dark decks like no other. And while it turns out that I have plenty of widely acknowledged, J.r.-endorsed "dark decks" to get us through Shadow Week and beyond, it occurred to me that I also had a couple less obvious choices that *I* consider dark, but that, say, Nosferatu would turn his nose at. Today's deck is one of them.
Sure, the characters are cute. But here's what the lwb says: "The Lunatic of Negativity dances on top of his turret, he is in need of help. A neighbor is leaving this place of great danger, taking herself to more harmonious surroundings to find a solution to the problem."
This card cracks me up. First, we all know a few Lunatics of Negativity. Second, look at all the cuts on the Lunatic (hard to see on this crappy pic) from wielding their words and thoughts (aka swords) too wildly. Third, the smile the Lunatic is wearing. And fourth, the way the neighbor is standing in the doorway with, to my eye, an expression of "how did I get roped in again, can I ignore this, and how can I keep it from happening again?"
So this card goes right to the essence of the shadow issues. One is a commentary on negative people. If you have a tendency to be negative, this card is saying that you're damaging yourself by doing it. That your words cut...not just you, but others. And that you are getting some sort of payoff from it that you need to explore. The Lunatic (haha...sorry) is smiling. There is a payoff or you wouldn't be doing it. Are you afraid of disappointment, so you always look to the losing side and that way you'll never be disappointed? Also notice the way negativity makes others need to be away from you. It drains not just your energy, but the energy of others.
Many of us are negative from time to time. So even if you don't think you're "a negative person", consider the times you are negative and how you express yourself at those times. It's ok to express your feelings. The key is not to wallow in them.
I would guess most of us have been the recipient of the negativity before. Like the poor little neighbor here. You really feel torn between helping and just walking away. Negative people are a terrible energy drain. When someone approaches me with negativity, I usually make a cursory comment like "I'm sure you'll figure it out" then move along. If it were someone I knew and it was a *moment* of negativity, I'd help them through it. But some people just want to suck you of your life force and nothing you can do or say will buck them up. Or they constantly need advice they will never follow. Or they're regularly in a bad place and help...food, shelter, money.
Or maybe they're not even negative or in need of advice or help...maybe they just like to absorb energy. I've had people like that in my life. They come around because you're a happy or positive person. They don't talk much. They're there just to....receive. You'll notice they never put any effort into anything, never return any kindnesses offered. They're not negative or anything. They're friendly. But they suck away your energy nonetheless. It's a really subtle thing to recognize.
This exchange of energy is the smile on the Lunatic's face, you see. They like the energy exchange...they like getting your attention. And negativity, advice and receiving without giving is how they get it. But the catch is, it's not their fault. It's yours for repeatedly giving it to them out of a place of guilt or whatever. You need to explore why you continue to let it happen. What payoff do you get, because you do get one.
When it comes down to it, you're not responsible for anyone's feelings or experiences other than your own. And nobody is responsible for your feelings and experiences. We can help each other through and should do so as humans...within reason. But no matter how badly you feel for someone, it's not your job to take their pain away. Again, I'm talking about habitual abusers here, not your best friend who's going through a tough time. The habitual ones are looking for someone to latch on to. And when you dump them, they'll find someone else. They always do. It doesn't have to be you.
Today's Draw: The Seven of Holy Water from Robert Place's Vampire Tarot. What tempts you? How often do you make choices that you know are bad for you? Do you still find yourself making bad choices without realizing they're bad choices?
The Seven of Holy Water corresponds to the Seven of Cups. It's a card of choice. In traditional decks, each cup would be filled with a wonderful thing. And your job is to choose among all the options available to you..to make a decision...to take a stand.
But in this card, it's a little different. There are three doorways, only one of them leading to escape. Do you choose the one with all the money and see where it goes? Do you choose the one with the vampire...maybe he's guarding the exit? Or do you choose the third one?
Life is often like that, isn't it? Full of difficult choices. Heck, the empty doorway could be clearly marked "Exit" and we may still choose the one with the money. Or even the one that promises eternal life. Or maybe we think we can scoop up the money, be given eternal life and still make it out exit!
In one of the questions up top I asked if you still find yourself making bad choices without realizing they're bad choices. I asked that because it seems like there comes a time in our lives where we see the clues to a bad choice and can keep from choosing it. This, of course, isn't 100%. But we do get to a point where we know the earmarks of all the bad choices we've made in the past and we, nonetheless, make them again. We make them consciously.
I feel like when I make bad choices these days I know when I'm doing it. I mean, I'm not blind to the fact that that piece of chocolate cake is not nutritionally equal to a sprig of broccoli or that smooth talking misunderstood playboy is going to turn out to be genuine and loyal. Obviously there's a shadow side issue at play when we knowingly make bad choices, even if we're only marginally conscious of it. We have to search ourselves and ask, "What story is this keeping me stuck in? And how is that story serving me?"
By story, I mean the stories we tell ourselves, like "I only ever meet the wrong men!" or "All the good men are taken!" or "But his smile was just so irresistible!" Your story can also point to a cycle or pattern. For example, one ex was a drunk, another a womanizer and another a workaholic. They're all different, right? No, they're all the same. They're all unavailable. So why do you keep going for unavailable men? And, more pointedly, what is unavailable about you that you only attract unavailable men?
Shadow Week ain't easy. Oprah once said she had a breakthrough about her weight issues when she realized they weren't about the potato chips. Whatever it is that's recurring in your life...whatever bad or limiting choices you're making, it's not about the potato chips. It's about something far beneath the chips. The good news is that, if you're making the bad choices consciously, you're way ahead of the people who are going through life blindly wondering why bad things always happen to them.
Other shadow issues with a Seven of Cups might be an inability to make a decision for fear of making the wrong one. Or wanting/needing to have it all. Choosing and regretting. Or worrying you've made the wrong choice and so you take the choice you made for granted. Or not showing gratitude for the options you do have. The Seven of Cups doesn't offer the kind of choices you're meant to regret. It only offers cup after cup of enjoyment. Your job is to choose the ONE that works best for you and be happy with it.
Today's Draw: The Hanged Man from the Deviant Moon Tarot by Patrick Valenza. Do you have a tendency to put things off? Or do you respond so quickly that other opportunities don't have time to present themselves? What lurks on the shadow side of the man who sees life from a different perspective?
It's Day Two of Shadow Side Week and today we have the Hanged Man. Traditionally, the Hanged Man can be about taking a pause, making a voluntary sacrifice for a higher good or looking at something from a different perspective. But Patrick Valenza's definition of this card has a perfect shadow side meaning—"A citizen hangs suspended in limbo. He is apathetic and feels no urgent need to alter his situation."
Back in spring, I think, I commissioned one of my FBFs for a reading on two areas of my life in which I'd like to make progress. And her blunt reading to me was that I would have to apply myself to those things, or otherwise another year will pass without me doing something about it. At the time I read those words I thought "well, you don't know me very well missy!" Haha. And the truth is, six months later I still haven't made progress on those things and her words now haunt me every day.
I admit it. My name is Tierney and I'm a procrastinator. And the reason I was put off by her reading was because she pegged me. And I knew it. This isn't the first year I've been meaning to get around to those two areas of my life. Unlike the Hanged Man, it's not because of apathy, necessarily. It's because my need/desire to change doesn't yet eclipse my desire to stay comfortably the same. And I'll also cop to a little fear of how those changes will change me.
So that's one shadow side of the Hanged Man, but here are a few other suggestions. The sacrifice aspect could manifest as someone who martyrs themselves, continually sacrificing their needs for those around them. This perpetuates a victim role that pushes others away, leaving the person to wonder why, when they give so much of themselves, do so few people appreciate and respect them?
If the Hanged Man is seeing things from a different perspective, another shadow side might be someone who has closed their mind. Have you ever noticed how many people there are out there with closed minds, yet how few of them will ever admit to it? That's because their minds are closed to the possibility that their minds might be closed....haha. I was reading a political thread the other day where this guy was calling one of the candidates all sorts of unflattering names and spouting innuendo about them while glorifying the other candidate as flawless. Then in the next breath he said his mind was open about the election. If the other candidate could show even one redeeming quality, he'd be open to considering it.
*eye roll*
And, just as taking too much time to move on your goals can be a shadow side to the Hanged Man, so can acting on impulse...never taking time to consider the consequences before speaking and acting. When we're afraid or angry, it's always a good idea to pause before reacting. Once let out in the ether, we can't take our words and actions back. I had a gentleman caller over here not that long ago and said something that gave me a case of the giggles I couldn't get rid of. My attitude was inadvertently hurtful and I never heard from the guy again. I can't really blame him.
Another aspect of acting too quickly is the person who's so on top of their to-do list that they pounce on making a decision or dispatching a task so quickly that they don't give other options a chance to present themselves. Or maybe they're so quick to act that they don't fully understand what they're doing before they do it. These are the people who respond before you even finish your sentence, often missing the entire point of what you were going to say. And before you can explain it to them, they're on to something new.
So does any of this sound like you? When you really look at it, what do you think is beneath your shadow behaviors?
I have a tendency to become very single-minded sometimes. For example, when work is busy, I'll go into "work mode" and that's all I'll focus on until the busy patch passes. Somewhere inside my head a switch goes off and says, "you must stand your post until all work is done." So during those periods, it's a miracle if I get out and go grocery shopping, let alone do anything else. 
