8/9/12—Making Our Desires Official

Today's Draw: Three of Cups from the Witches Tarot. Do you ever use ceremony to help create change in your life? Do you involve others in the ceremonial process? What kind of things do you do in your ceremonies?

Today's entry is going to be a quickie, since I'm running short on time tonight. The topic is about how to move forward when you're in a holding pattern or ways to abide the feeling of being stuck. 

The Three of Cups is a card of friendship and good times. So one way to abide would be to get together with friends and take yourself out of your head for a while. Or, to get unstuck, get together with friends and brainstorm about what you should do to move forward. 

So those are two answers. But this is a witchy deck, so I would be remiss not to bring up the magical aspect of the number three. Three is a magic number. If you're going to wish, say your wish three times. If you want to manifest something, repeat it three times. And if you're going to create more energy behind your manifestation, do it with a total of three people present. 

Ceremony and "magic numbers" aren't just for witches. I'm not a witch, but I'm a huge fan of ceremony and when I write a wish down, I fold the paper in thirds and repeat the wish three times out loud. I also burn a lot of incense because the smoky stuff feels mystical to me. I usually light something on fire somewhere along the line...a piece of paper or maybe I use some special incense that goes up in flames. I tend to do my ceremonies alone, but I do believe that when two or more people are present, the increase in energy is not just additive, but exponential. We can accomplish more "magic" in groups than by our lonesome.

So if there's something specific that you want to accomplish, why not make a little ceremony around it? You can use the moon...bring things into your life when the moon is waxing or full...release things from your life when it's waning or dark. You can write something on a piece of paper and ceremonially tie it up in a bow...maybe put it under your pillow. You can release something by writing it on a rock and throwing it in the river. 

Whatever. Use your imagination. There are no rules to follow and you don't even have to do things in threes. Just do whatever feels sacred and right to you. Ceremony and saying something out loud makes it official in ways that can be truly inspiring. So start thinking about something special you can do to commemorate whatever it is you want to achieve or release in your life, then do something symbolic to show your commitment to it. 

8/8/12—Revisiting the Last Turn of the Wheel

Today's Draw: The Wheel from the Celtic Book of the Dead. If you're in a difficult or frustrating situation right now, think back. Have you been in a similar situation before? What did you do then to move beyond? What wisdom from the past can you bring to bear on the present? 

Last week we talked a lot about being in transitions in our lives where we just can't see the forest for the trees...we know we're moving toward something, but we don't know what. Either that, or we're in a holding pattern in which we know where we want to go but, for one reason or another, aren't moving. 

A lot of people seemed to resonate with a need or desire to refocus, reinvigorate or re-something at this time. So one of my readers, prolific deck creator and all around nice gal Beth Seilonen, suggested that's what we address this week. So this week's draws will center around that topic, either advice or wisdom to move us forward...or a message to abide us while we're here. 

Today's draw of The Wheel is, I think, both advice and comfort. The comforting part of The Wheel is that it speaks to cycles, gestation and impermanence. This will pass. In its own time. And before you know it, you'll be so caught up in the next phase that you'll be begging for another holding pattern. Also, those times when we don't seem to be moving forward are sometimes the moments we're working the hardest. 

That's the gestation part. Think about a pregnant woman. She might not even begin to show significantly for six months, but all that time cells have been splitting, hearts and limbs have been forming...a lot of work has been going on that's barely visible. But it's a LOT of work. So while we may be in a phase of apparent stasis, we may nonetheless feel exhausted from all the work that's going on outside of our immediate consciousness.

The advice piece, though, is a nuance of The Wheel that I don't know I've ever considered in this way before—what have you learned in the past that can help this moment? Where have you seen this situation in the past? After all, the wheel has a tendency to spin lessons and   experiences around to us again and again to bring deeper understanding at each new turn. 

A lot of times we'll look at the recent events that led us to where we are...the relationship that failed, the job change we just made, the frustrations that led to our desire to change. That's not the past I'm talking about coming back around to. All of that happened on this turn of the wheel. The past I'm talking about the relationship BEFORE this that failed...the LAST life change we made. The last turn of the wheel. We have to move beyond the clutter of this current situation to see beyond it. 

One thing that keeps coming up for me...and may be a card that comes up later this week...is surrender. Things don't usually move or progress while I'm all tense about them, pushing against them, trying to steer them, control them or otherwise supervise them. But when I just "let go and let God", things seem to fall into place. Beautifully.

Surrender works for me. But what wisdom from your past could be applied to your current situation? What do you know about yourself that helps here? And what are you willing to share to help others learn from you? ;)

10/6/12-10/7/12—Saying No, Nuh Uh, No Way

Weekend Reading: Throat Chakra from Chakra Affirmation Cards by Mary Phelan, co-host of Telepathic TV. The throat chakra is about speaking up for yourself and standing up for yourself. And the affirmation on this card says, "It is safe for me not to act, not to engage in anything that is not on my path." So take those words to heart this weekend. You don't have to do it. You don't have to decide it. You don't have to say yes. The sky won't fall if you do what's right for you this weekend. You're not obligated to do anything you don't want to. When you think of whoever or whatever may be putting pressure on you, they're only focusing on their needs and their path. So that makes it ok for you to focus on yours. Try it for the weekend and see how it feels. Sometimes doing what's right for someone else's path also serves your own. But for all those times it doesn't, just say no. 


If you like these cards, you can get them at telepathictv.com. They're prettier than this. To begin with, they're white. And they don't have a computer screen reflecting in them. But hurry. They're in limited supply. You can also follow the links to watch Telepathic TV online. 

10/5/12—Building the Life Force

Today's Draw: Umiarkowanie (Temperance) from the Tarot Maroon. Is there someone or some situation in your life that drains you of your life force? What unfinished business keeps that situation in your life? What do you suppose it is healing within you?

I pulled this EXACT card just a little over a month ago. And in that entry I spoke about how my dog, Magick Moonbeam, comes to me to heal her hiccups with my reiki energy. And I spoke about my other dog, Kizzie, is a healing source for me...instantly calming me when I dig into his abundant fur. 

But today I officially became the mommy of a third dog, Mystic, aka Manic Mystic, aka Buckshot Annie. And I wonder which way this will go...will I be healing for her? Or will she be healing for me. 

The truth is, it will probably be a little bit of both. Because that's what Temperance is...a balance. A give and take. The hummingbird in the picture nourishes itself on the nectar of the flower, then flies off with the flower's pollen to pollinate another flower. Both receive life force from the other in one way or another. 

While it's easy to see how a doggie and mommy receive life force from each other, sometimes it's hard to see this at work with the humans in our lives. I mean, it's easy when the relationship is good and healing. And with relationships that aren't, we can easily see how they suck the life force out of us. What we don't easily see is how, even when a relationship is draining, it's pulling us forward and ultimately aiding in our healing. 

It's all in how you look at it. The hummingbird is taking from the flower, draining it of the nectar it has spent a lot of its energy accumulating. But it accumulated the nectar to attract the bird so the bird could spread its seed. We often do that with others. We have them in our lives to serve a certain purpose, even if we can't always see it. Sometimes it's a human, ego-driven purpose and sometimes it's a soul-based spiritual purpose. Then, when the exchange has completed its value, like the flower, it will wither. But it will have created something new in us in the process.

Whether it's a human or a job or some other situation, it's not just there to drain you. It's there to heal you. Viewed through a spiritual lens, EVERYTHING in life is there to nourish or heal you. The mistake we make is standing in its way by whining about it all the time and making it more painful than it needs to be...haha. 

I mean, look back on your life and you'll see where everything has all been a process of growth and renewal that you, eventually, became grateful for. Whatever person or situation you're facing now will be the same. 

10/4/11—Moving On Without Turning Back

Today's Draw Classic*: The Eight of Shells from the Fishy Tarot by Beth Seilonen. Is it time for you to move on in some area of your life? Can you give up the comfort of the known and surrender to the unknown? Or are perfectly happy camping out where you are right now?

NOTE: I picked this at random as a repeat post, but I think it works in nicely with what we've been talking about this week. :) 

The Eight of Shells (Cups) talks about walking away without turning back. It's time to leave a situation that is no longer bearing fruit. Time to move out of our comfort zone, surrender to life's cycles and move forward in our evolution. This is a card of letting go, similar to others we've seen in the past week, but with its own unique thrust. 

Usually the way this card is depicted, the person walking away is trudging or of solemn stance. And in this card, as you can see, the little fishy is belly up (heehee). Often times, this card will refer to leaving a romantic or relationship in which you've done all you could. Or it could be about leaving the predictable and comfortable cycle you're in to reach for something new. Or it could also signal that every last ounce of fight or energy is gone from you in a particular dynamic.

But this departure doesn't have to be a sad thing. As tarot folks know, the very next card in this story is a happy, happy wish card—one of success and accomplishment. So why so glum, chum? You're moving on to a better place! You may not know that now, but at least make space for the possibility of that in your heart. The universe has always has your back before. 

Another part of what I like about this card is that, when the fishy was with his shells, he was in a sort of underwater valley or trough where the current couldn't get to him. And now he's surrendered to floating up into the flow and go where the current takes him. Which brings me back to "walking away without turning back". Looking back and maintaining attachments, is not letting go. Letting go means Letting. Go. Complete surrender. Our finny friend isn't belly up because he's dead or even dead inside. He's just surrendering and keeping his eyes toward the light. 

This all makes me think of when I quit smoking 8 years ago. I had struggled for years to quit. I justified my addiction. I lived in denial. I made excuses. I fed my victimhood and helplessness. But it wasn't until I made a *decision*...a decision to walk away and never indulge my destructive behavior anymore...that I quit. And you know what? All of a sudden, quitting was easy. People always say you can't quit until you're ready. And I'll add to that and say you can't quit until you're ready to never smoke again. Non-smokers might not see the distinction, but smokers will. Quitting means never smoking again, just as walking away means never turning back again.

There's nothing wrong with camping out in the comfortable valleys of life. But the only way to progress is to leave it all behind and surrender to the risky and unknown. To answer my own questions, there are a couple of growth areas I'm ready to surrender to right now, and one comes in the realm of emotion, requiring me to break camp in a spot I've been clinging to for a very long time. So, tell me: Is it time for you to break camp, too?

*Adapted from a post originally written on 11/30/11

10/3/12—Being Caught in a Holding Pattern

Today's Draw: Hanging Man from the Sirian Starseed Tarot. Do you feel like you're in a holding pattern in some aspect of your life? Are you having a hard time being patient? And is it driving you CRAZY!!??

Usually known as the Hanged Man, the Hanging Man, like the stilled pendulum, is potential energy disengaged or at rest. It's time to pause and look at things from a fresh perspective. 

This is something I need very much right now. And the good thing is that I'm going to have some of it next week. I have a terrible habit of waiting too long to take time away from work. In my entire professional career, I've never had more than a week off at a time, and I've never had more than two weeks in a year. Plus, the last couple of times I've been away, I've had someone else with me, which doesn't count as a vacation. Anyway, I'm self employed so I can do what I want, but more often than not, I find myself working. 

Between menopausal hormones, a pretty busy workload, a new dog with issues and my epic struggle between myself and what's good for my health, this past couple of weeks has really been kicking my ass. Hell, the last six months has been kicking my ass, what with Kizzie's surgery and my brother's death. I work my regular job, write this blog every night, teach 2-3 weekends a months and am writing one book, while working on the proposal for another. It's not that I don't have the time. I have the time. It's just sometimes I don't have the shoulders to carry it all. Right this minute I don't have the shoulders. 

So I need the rest. But there's also another aspect of the Hanged Man that's not so appealing to me right now. And that's about being in a holding pattern....in a place where you want and need change, but you can't manage it right now. I feel like I'm there, too. Pulled by many muses, knowing which I want to answer, but still answering to ones that no longer hold my heart instead. This is one of those things I want the time to consider from a fresh perspective. And I can't do it when I've got the new dog, the classes, the work and the everything else to attend to. 

It's just too fricking LOUD all up in my head right now. Maybe when I hang upside down, all the noise will fall out. Or maybe I'll just manage yet another aspect of the Hanged Man's qualities—patience. The patience and, dare I say, wisdom to allow things to unfold in the right way and the right time. 

If the shoe were on the other foot and I were one of you, I'd be telling you to be grateful to the universe because clearly it's in the process of answering your prayers. And sometimes some crazy-making has to happen in the interim. So just hold the vision and know that magic is being made on your behalf. 

So, whatever. I'm going to try to practice what I preach. But tonight I'm going to roll my eyes and stick out my tongue while I do it. Just because. ;)

10/2/12—Taking Care of Yourself First

Today's Draw Classic*: Six of Coins from the Raven's Fool Tarot. Do you tend to give all your energy to others and end up being left with none for yourself? Do you ever ask yourself why you, metaphorically speaking, put the oxygen mask on everyone else before you put it on yourself? And are you so depleted and fed up that you're finally ready to do something about it?

First off, I don't know how old this deck is, but it's new to me. A lot of people will enjoy the raven imagery. And the cards are sort of square-ish, printed on high quality paper stock. It's self-published and not expensive. You can purchase it at http://www.ravensfool.com/ 

OK, now that I've taken care of the tarot geeks (heehee), the Six of Coins is about giving and receiving. Often this card will come along when you're either the recipient of someone's generosity or you're the generous one. 

I've talked to a number of friends recently about a nuance of this topic and I know it's quite common, especially in the spiritual realm, but we all need to learn to both give and receive. Too many of us give—and, too often, we give to people who deplete us. If we imagine that two people come together to create a balance between them, then the more of a selfless giver you are, the more you'll attract energy suckers who don't return the energy. The more of an energy sucker you are, the more you'll find compulsive givers. And the more in balance you are, the more you're going to attract others in balance. 

Having been an over-giver myself (as well as having be the energy sucker), I can say that giving too much can be rooted in self esteem issues. We think the more we give, the more people will like us or the better they'll think of us. And we want to be liked and admired. And even though we feel we give freely, we usually end up feeling anywhere from slightly bitter to enormously bitter about the people who take, take, take and give nothing in return. But because we give for reasons other than purely to give, no strings attached, we bring this upon ourselves, as well as the exhaustion and health issues that go with it. 

Another side to this coin is that over-givers usually have a hard time receiving, too. People try to give to us, but we don't let them. Or we expect them to give tit for tat and we don't recognize the other ways they give. If any of this behavior sounds familiar to you, you need to ask yourself what truly is your motivation for giving? Because this behavior is holding you back from reaching an important turn on your path. 

Call it learning to say no. Call it learning to receive. Call it allowing others to give in the way they need to give. Or call it telling the slimy energy suckers to fark off. Call it what you will, but it's an important element of your self care. Have I ended or moved away from friendships over this? Yes. Do I have energy suckers in my life right now? Yes. But the difference is that now my boundaries are such that I protect myself from these people. I say no. I distance myself from them so they don't get the idea they *can* take liberties. I'm willing to risk seeming "rude" by not giving them the attention they demand. And if I say yes when I really want to say no, I apologize for changing my mind and change my yes to a no. Even if it pisses them off. Also, when I do say yes, I make certain it's something I can give freely without expecting anything in return. 

It's not just about giving "things", either. It's also about people who just drain you of your energy in whatever way. I used to feel guilty or bad for cutting off friendships like that. But I don't anymore. They find people to hang on to for their own survival. And I find a way to extricate them for mine. Trust me, they'll find someone else to feed them. Or they'll move on and advance on their own path. Neither of their choices, however, are your business or for you to worry about.

Most of you know me as a nice, kind, compassionate person. And I am. You can be that way without playing host to parasites. It just takes standing up for yourself and taking responsibility for your own path. You can't move forward when others, who are not interested in growing and changing, are clinging to you and holding you back. You just can't. And your primary responsibility is to yourself. And I stand by that position, even if you're married and have children who are this way. Being committed to a relationship doesn't mean giving up your boundaries. Stick to your guns enough and they'll learn a more equitable way of getting your "yes". 

I know all this sounds tough. The biggest misunderstanding about spiritual people who choose to walk a path of compassion, faith and growth is that we're weak. Too nice. The reality is we're strong and firm enough to set the boundaries we need to set in order to focus on moving forward on our paths. We're strong enough to be compassionate and kind without being a patsy. To know how to fuel ourselves without depleting others. To be so "selfish" as to show the same loving kindness to ourselves that we extend to others. To give others the freedom and privilege of taking responsibility for their own paths. And to risk losing a person we care about, but who is nonetheless a parasite, in order to take responsibility for our own. 

Let them think you're a "meanie". Let them shout it to the rooftops. And while they're throwing their tantrum quietly, calmly walk toward the people who understand the difficulty of the choices you've made to take your soul to the next level.

*From a post originally written on 10/6/11.